Category Archives: Features
ON THE SLATE WITH MIKE DE LUCA — LION KING IN MY PANTS EDITION (10.07.11)Welcome, readers. I’m Mike De Luca and this is ON THE SLATE. This is where we talk about what’s hot, what’s not, what’s overrated, what’s underrated, what’s awful, what’s awesome…well, you know, we met at that “Fight Club” party. You were Brad Pitt with the erectile hair, I was Edward Norton and was missing some teeth. We went behind the Meat Loaf-shaped meat loaf sculpture, you said, “I want you to hit me as hard as you can”, we knelt down and then we…Wait, that wasn’t you? That wasn’t you who said, “You don’t talk about Fight Club, be we can talk about something else” before unzipping your pants…Shit. I have to stop sleeping with anyone who says they’re Brad Pitt. (Charlie Sheen, you know what you did.) Anyway, welcome! One week we might talk about why casting Russell Crowe as Superman’s dad is a phenomenally bad idea (see above), or offer up unfiltered commentary on my days as a Thai ladyboy (I miss my breasts). But, before we begin, there are three things you need to know – #1 – This is ON THE SLATE with Mike De Luca. #2 – I did not produce a film called “Butter” (but that’s what they called me in college). #3 – The ladies call mine “Mufasa”. Let’s begin…
This is ON THE SLATE with Mike De Luca urging you to see the film “Drive” before reading this tribute. It is a film that, if one were lazy, one could say was a throwback to the neon dystopia of ‘80s crime movies such as Michael Mann’s “Thief” and William Friedkin’s “To Live and Die in LA”. And, on the surface, perhaps it is. But look inside and it is something much, much more. In the first of our Spotlight Series, I give you “Drive”.
And The Winners Are… THE 2011 FANTASTIC FEST EDITION!Although three more days of film remain at this year’s fest, the cream of the crop were announced Monday evening, with awards going to best films, actors, writers and directors in several different categories.
See the full list of winners inside!
Johann Urb newest victim in “RESIDENT EVIL”Welcome, readers. I’m Mike De Luca and this is ON THE SLATE. This is where we talk about what’s hot, what’s not, what’s overrated, what’s underrated, what’s awful, what’s awesome…well, you know, we met at that “Dress Like Keanu Reeves” party. I shaved my head and offered to show what the Matrix was, you said, “Come on my excellent adventure”, we went into “The Devil’s Advocate Pleasure Room of Dirty Al Pacinos”, and then we…Wait, that wasn’t you? That wasn’t you with the blank stare that made me feel me whole, like Sandra Bullock? Shit. I have to stop taking mescaline. Anyway, welcome, sit on my face! (Just kidding.) One week we might talk about how we need a “Footloose” remake like your grandma needs sex (and she really needs sex), or offer up unfiltered commentary on my days as a Swedish Maid Penis Enlarger. (That was a long, long time ago, in George Lucas’ bathtub. Don’t ask. Really, I mean it. Don’t ask. Sorry, George, I didn’t mean it. NOOOOO!!!!!! And that’s how “Howard The Duck” got made.) But, before we begin, there are three things you need to know – #1 – This is ON THE SLATE with Mike De Luca. #2 – I am not producing a remake of “Point Break” (because I love you) – #3 – I did not see “Bucky Larson”, for I value life. Let’s begin…
In yet another commercial break from Hollywood scoops and smutty jokes, we continue our Great Americans series with a look at John Carpenter and his 1988 cult classic, “They Live”.
{EXCLUSIVE} TB Sits Down With Blockbuster Writers Fergus and Ostby
A NOBLE LIE (SALES)The Hollywood Temp Diaries now accepting nominations for their third annual tally of Most Liked and Least Liked Hollywood Execs!
Welcome, readers. I’m Mike De Luca and this is ON THE SLATE. This is where we talk about what’s hot, what’s not, what’s overrated, what’s underrated, what’s awful, what’s awesome…well, you know, we met at that “ALL MALE AVATAR PARTY”. You were dressed as Stephen Lang, I went as Neytiri, with large blue prosthetic boobs. You said, “Show me your Jake Sully”, we went behind the Hometree standee, and then we…Wait, that wasn’t you? Shit. I think I may have actually slept with Stephen Lang. (Sorry, Stephen. Mr. Lang’s representatives have said he’s sorry, too.) Anyway, welcome! One week we might talk about Charlie Sheen and sex with the elderly, or we might offer up unfiltered commentary on my days as Mitt Romney’s sex kitten (got me free healthcare) . But, before we begin, there are three things you need to know – #1 – This is ON THE SLATE with Mike De Luca. #2 – I am not the producer of “Moneyball” (though Aaron Sorkin can touch mine, what a stud). #3 – This used to be my playground (and then came the lawsuits). Let’s begin…
My fellow Americans, my Canadian friends and Tracking-Board members, welcome to the age of stupidity. Yes, one that even rivals the search and destroy “government stay out of people’s lives unless they’re gay” small penis Bush era mentality. It is not a war on decency, a fictitious “War on Christmas”, or something from the empty-headed fulminations of the Tea Party. No, it is the greatest battle of our times – the War on Subtlety. And nowhere has it struck harder than in the world of film. Yes, it isn’t exactly Darfur at stake here, but to those who care passionately, those who give a shit, it means everything.
