ANOTHER PERIOD opens with a scene straight out of a horror movie. A gasmask-clad Dr. Goldberg (Moshe Kasher) marks the servants with giant red X’s on their foreheads. They all have typhoid, and they’re all going to die. But upstairs, Lillian, the Commodore and Hortense enjoy their dessert, completely oblivious to the chaos down below. When Peepers is finally forced to tell them that there’s an outbreak situation going on, Hortense immediately wants to help save them, as she’s a member of the Red Cross. The only thing Lillian is interested is saving is “the family fortune and my rear virginity for my second marriage”, until she learns that a reporter from the local newspaper is on the scene.
It’s another funny episode that also features the ridiculousness that is Victor, Albert, and the Marquis de Sainsbury (Tom Lennon) as a quarrelling barbershop trio, each convinced that they should be the soloist. But the two main stories are Lillian bonding with the servants after she exposes herself to the disease and Beatrice going on a double date with Vice President Frederick, Celery, and her new suitor, Dick. Celery agrees to the date after Beatrice shows up in their bedroom in the middle of the night. Beatrice gleefully calls Celery her sister and tells them she’s staying at a hotel next to the Penis Monument—Frederick corrects her, it’s the Washington Penis.
Beatrice and Dick seem very much in love, recounting their story of how their fathers traded Beatrice in exchange for a deal involving oil rights and opal mines like it was the most romantic tale ever told. Frederick thinks the story is boring, and he’s distracted by his soup. It’s much too hot; soup fools him every time. Celery announces she’s going to take a walk, hinting that Frederick should come with her, but he just asks if he can have her dessert if she isn’t back in time. Dick goes with her instead and she confesses to him that she finds Frederick childish. He doesn’t know how soup work, he’s convinced he has a twin that lives in the mirror, and he’s afraid of clouds. Yep, from everything we know about Frederick, that seems about right.
Dick tells her he’s not a complete gentleman. He only agreed to the double date because he wants to have sex with Celery. The two end up having wild outdoor sex, while Beatrice and Frederick agree that they can hook up if it’s only as friends. For each step they take, Frederick has a new name. When they kiss, they’re Pecking Pals. When they take a bubble bath together, they’re Bubble Buddies. And when they finally have sex, they’re Coitus Colleagues. I love it and I’m never using the term “friends with benefits again.” It’s Coitus Colleagues from here on out.
Meanwhile, after she’s forced into quarantine, Lillian realizes that she doesn’t even know who all the servants are. Garfield introduces her to a few—the chef, the child who plucks feathers for her stoles, her wet nurse/nanny for 19 years of her life—and confesses that he’s the one who removes her bowel movements every night, leaving behind a note and a drawing. She decides to get to know them even more, as they’re going to die and “a rich person knowing you is better than going to heaven.” An adorable little girl named Anthony confesses that she sometimes sucks the marrow out of bones meant for dogs. This throws Lillian, as Mayor Cutie needs that marrow to help with his hip dysplasia, but she forgives her.
The chef was responsible for the Great Fire of 1892, Flobelle tells everyone she’s enamored of one of her co-workers as she looks meaningfully at Garfield, Garfield stole a towel, and Blanche denies any wrongdoing. Lillian says that her greatest sin was not realizing that some of the greatest people she’s ever known were living right underneath her. Aww! Oh, and that one time she aborted a child to fit into a dress. That’s the Lillian we know! Luckily, Dr. Goldberg tells them that they don’t actually have typhoid. It’s just food poisoning. They’re all going to live, but Peepers is docking them a month’s pay for lying about on the job.
Back upstairs, Lillian asks Anthony for a bowl of gruel—she developed a taste for it while quarantined. She decides to make it two bowls, one for her and one for Anthony, but then quickly changes her mind. She’s very hungry, so she’ll take both. If you were worried that Lillian’s experience changed or humanized her, don’t be. She’s still the same deliciously horrible person we know and love.
Season 2, Episode 6 (S02E06)
Another Period airs Wednesdays at 10PM on Comedy Central
Jennifer Trofa | Contributor