ANOTHER PERIOD Review: “The Prince and the Pauper”

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This was my favorite episode of so far, mainly because it was a spot-on parody of my favorite guilty pleasure show, The Bachelor. The attention to detail was astounding. There was a take on the classic “I’m not here to make friends” line, tearful exit interviews in the back of a carriage instead of a limo, a hot air balloon ride standing in for the franchise’s ubiquitous helicopter rides, and of course, someone claiming that someone they’ve just met is the love of their life and the suitor announcing that he has to make the most difficult decision he’s ever had to make. It was brilliant. It’s a little weird to call a show that also featured a woman having explosive diarrhea off the edge of a hot air balloon brilliant, but here we are.

Lillian and Beatrice aren’t having much luck finding new husbands. When they meet with two eligible Vanderbilt bachelors, the men assume they’d be marrying their daughters. But luckily, the Commodore has found another suitor—an Indian prince looking for his Western queen. Beatrice and Lillian now have to compete for his love and attention. A series of acrobats and gymnastics announce his arrival, and Prince Apato (Rizwan Manji) strides in accompanied by his faithful butler (Aasif Mandvi). Beatrice immediately announces via a talking head that even though she’s only known him for one day, she knows he’s the love of her life and if he doesn’t pick her, she’s going to kill herself. I nearly killed myself laughing.

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In classic Bachelor fashion, the suitor takes out each sister on a date. Prince Apato takes Beatrice hunting. Things are looking good. He tells her that he could see her bearing him a male heir and asked if she’d like to relocate for a land deal. So romantic! But then Beatrice reveals her crazy side. She declares that she likes hunting men, and chases after Garfield with a knife, pinning him down. She only lets him go when Peepers pries her off of him—Garfield is the only servant the children like.

Next up is Lillian’s date, which is a romantic hot air balloon ride. She seems to be charming him, but unfortunately her body rebels against her. The almost entire bottle of arsenic she drank to appear pale comes rushing out her body, forcing her to go to the bathroom over the side of the hot air balloon. It’s completely ridiculous, but once again, it had me laughing, especially when she tumbled over the side.

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It’s time for the final rose ceremony, but there’s a twist! Prince Apato isn’t the real prince. The real prince is the butler, who shocks everyone by not choosing either Bellacourt sister. He only promised to choose someone from the Bellacourt household, so he chooses Blanche. When he was pretending to be a butler, he was very impressed by her knowledge of butler traditions and the proper way to prepare a bird to eat—drown, then bake it, so the bird recognizes its impending death and you can taste its fear.

But Blanche’s fairytale ending is brought crashing down by Peepers, who resented the “butler” the entire episode for upstaging him. According to a new amendment in the butler handbook, Peepers has complete legal custody of Blanche after her stay in the mental institution and he’s not permitting her to leave. Poor Blanche. She might actually go crazy now. The real Prince Apato declares Peepers the greatest butler of all. At least someone got what they wanted this episode!

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There are a few other B-stories. We check in on Hamish, who’s in jail for the murder of Scoops LaPue (amazing name) from last season. His cellmate is played by the hilarious Ron Fuches, who’s in there for the crime of staring. Hamish can’t read, so his cellmate patiently teaches him. This subplot brought us some great lines, such as Hamish saying that “all letters are just squiggly pieces of shit” and his tearful admission that “I’ve committed murder, treason, and genocide, but my most shameful secret is my illiteracy.”

Also, as I mentioned in the last review, Chair woke up at the end of the last episode! However, she’s suffering from amnesia and paralyzed from the waist down. She can’t remember anything about her life pre-coma, and asks Blanche to push her down the stairs in hopes of jogging a memory. Blanche does so (again), and Chair remembers her name, but nothing else. Blanche better watch her back.

TB-TV-Grade-A
Season 2, Episode 3 (S02E03)
Another Period airs Wednesdays at 10PM on Comedy Central

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lives for two things: spreading the “Superstore” gospel and themed “Law & Order: SVU” marathons on USA.
Twitter: @jtrof

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