FRESH OFF THE BOAT REVIEW: “LOVE AND LOOPHOLES”

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Airtime: Tuesday at 8:00pm on ABC

Tweetable Takeaway: Marvin gives lessons in love to the Huangs for Valentine’s Day on #FreshOffTheBoat.


explores the link between romance and taxes in “Love And Loopholes”. Emery creates a “love wall” in his room and pastes all the Valentine’s Day cards he received at school. Louis and Jessica inspire him; his parents are the most romantic people he knows even though he has never seen them be romantic, he assumes they met and it was love at first sight.

Marvin and Honey have a date night while Nicole is away for the weekend. These two know how to keep the romance burning with more than dinner and dancing. They leave dinner to have sex, just talking about the first time they met. The closest thing Jessica did was dance with a cockroach before an open house. The Huangs only talk business. There isn’t time for anything else with two businesses and three kids.

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Honey and Marvin offer to watch the kids for a night while Louis and Jessica treat themselves to a romantic evening, a Valentine’s dinner. It turns out, there is something they like to do, slow and private. They except the gift and send Emery and Evan over to Marvin and Honey’s house.

Eddie tells Alison he’s taking her to the Janet Jackson concert.

Just one small problem, he doesn’t have any tickets yet. Eddie isn’t a liar; he just has incredibly optimistic ideas about life. He plans to win the tickets in a radio call-in show with the help of buddy Trent. He’s at the age when grand gestures are the way to go but way to deep for his pockets. Trent makes the winning call and scores a pair of excellent seats. Then, he feels bad; being Janet Jackson’s biggest fan, he has to go. It’s up to Eddie whether he goes with Trent, or sends Alison.

No need to waste energy getting mad at Trent, his magic fingers made the wining call. Eddie adjusts the plan; exchange Trent’s two good seats, for three slightly lesser seats. They find a scalper willing to trade, but the asshole runs off with Trent’s tickets. They spend the night outside the arena, barely able to hear Janet sing. This didn’t turn out the way he thought, but real love is like that, full of unexpected bumps and turns.

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Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis find the boys and Alison looking defeated. They offer three VIP tickets for the next show. It’s almost a win. The tickets end up being right behind a huge concrete pillar. They can hear Janet, but they can’t see anything happening on stage.

Marvin plays a game of dare and dare with the boys.

Both boys uncover dangerous secrets. The first dare sends Emery back home to mess with Louis’ sock drawer. Emery finds his parent at the dinner table, working. They never went anywhere; they stayed home to sift through their taxes in peace. This is all they really wanted to do. Emery is shocked they didn’t take a single romantic date night. He’s afraid there’s no romance in their lives. It’s too much for the little guy to handle.

Evan dares Marvin to tell him a secret not even Honey knows. Marvin confesses he was married to a woman he never told Honey about. She’s actually his third wife. Evan tells Honey and she gets pissed, the fun night is over. Marvin is a smart guy, but he’s still a guy. Stupid mistakes, especially where relationships are involved, come with our “why” chromosome.

Louis and Jessica forget how to kiss.

Emery takes down the love wall. He can’t even get his parents to kiss in front of him. Louis feels too much pressure while Emery is watching and batches the big time. Marvin offers to watch the kids again. He needs them as a shield from Honey. Marvin sees Emery carrying some heavy blues about his idea of adult romance. He explains real romance is built on little acts for the sake of someone they love. Honey listens as Marvin recalls the little things she does that show she really loves him. Honey confronts him about keeping his first wife a secret. He tells her he was insecure about being married twice before and she forgives him.

Emery realizes Louis and Jessica really do love each other. They sacrifice, make the other person’s day a little better without having to be asked. He resurrects his wall with a much deeper understanding. I guess this means I can stop trolling Groupon for concert tickets and double up my “little things” activities instead.

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Eric lives in a world where the television is great, the smiles are warm, the pizza is hot, the puppies are playful, and the zombies are slow and meander while he reloads.

@etom2012

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