“Why you just look at me like you’re Stacy Dash and I just told you you’re black?”
If you’ve already seen this week’s episode of INSECURE, “Broken as F**k”, feel free to skip all the re-cappy stuff and get right to the business. Just know that this week left me broken and dismayed, which is annoying because I promised myself I wouldn’t get attached to any more fictional characters. RIP, my heart.
We return to find Issa acting like a real f-girl. After three whole days of Lawrence ignoring her calls and messages, Issa’s shocked to find out that he wants nothing to do with her cheating ass. She comes up to his job with a bag of… toiletries, only to be told by Lawrence that he’s done with her.
Issa also attempts a sorry apology on Molly, who ignores her attempts to go back to normal. We assume the trip that Molly, Issa and the Greek Choir are taking to Malibu for a birthday party is going to be awkward. It is awkward, and it wasn’t just because of their dance moves to Wipe Me Down. Issa struggles to have a good time as she watches Molly make what looks like another bad decision as she goes off with some rando in the club.
With no allies in the house, Issa attempts to bring up Lawrence to Kelli, but isn’t able to admit to what happened. Molly acts fake, bonding with bougie friend Tiffany, leaving Issa excluded.
We catch up with Lawrence, who commiserates his misery by smoking weed with his pal, Chad. Chad pokes fun at Lawrence, insinuating that Lawrence is going to go back to Issa since he’s a “in his feelings” type of guy. Lawrence backtracks, saying that he wants to do a boys night to move on. Obviously, they head to a strip club, where Lawrence and the men talk about “new black women”, a topic for another paragraph. Somehow we end the scene with Lawrence and a stripper in the back room, with Lawrence receiving a quote for her “other services.” *side eye emoji*
Lawrence calls Issa at the club, where he admits that he misses her and suggests that he and Issa talk when she returns home. Issa decides to leave the Malibu rental home early to rush and talk to him. Molly, being the ROD that she is, offers to drive Issa home and talk her through it all.
The last few minutes of this episode had me clutching my heart. When Issa returns home, she sees that Lawrence has returned his keys to their apartment and has appeared to have moved out. We then cut to a devastating scene of Lawrence sleeping with… ya’ll already know… Tasha. That in itself is jacked up because he knows Tasha has feelings for him, and now he’s using her to get over his emotions. Trifling. We end the last episode of the season with Issa crying on Molly’s lap, outside on her and Lawrence’s old couch. I really want to say she deserves it, but this one hurt my little heart. I just want black love to thrive.
See, I’m a little upset because I was prepared for Lawrence to hook up with Tasha – hell I liked her – but the way he did it took me by surprise and hurt my soul. Lawrence’s heart has been ripped out, and I fear he’s no longer the “good guy” (in air quotes ’cause that’s a whole other topic to discuss) that he was when we first met him. He’s gone from the person that’s able to express his feelings in an adult manner, to someone who drowns out his feelings with drugs and sleeping with any girl that gives him attention.
More than anyone, Insecure’s treatment of Lawrence was, in my opinion, superbly done. I mean, he was never really a good boyfriend, but eventually he did try… kinda. Once he realised that he could lose Issa if he didn’t get his own life together, his sole purpose seemed to be ensuring that whatever he did made her happy, even at the risk of setting aside his own dreams. So now, seeing him act a fool, I think some of it (emphasis on SOME) comes from the pent up aggression of denying himself his own choices for his own life. Holding in that ish can make you make crazy, rash decisions. I have to say in addition to the writers, the real round of applause goes to Jay Ellis. He played the hell out of that role, and he was the character that truly solidified me as a fan for the show.
Chill, I still don’t agree with his actions. I mean, let’s not forget he was a bum for a good portion of their relationship. Let’s also not forget that he agreed to speak with Issa, so him sleeping with Tasha was for what? I’m going to guess an ego boost. So no, his actions aren’t justifiable. Either way, these are two people that don’t need to be together. Issa’s fed up, she needs to leave. Lawrence is a hot mess, he needs to leave. Issa has long outgrown Lawrence; it’s time for her to move on.
Also, speaking of ego, I have to give ya’ll my humble opinion on what the underlying theme here is (or at least what it is in my opinion): “masculinity.” Why was Lawrence’s gut reaction to being hurt to lash back in a way that he knew would hurt Issa? Unable to deal with the hurt that he’s (justifiably) feeling, he chooses partying and sex to mask those real emotions, while his friends cheer on. His closest friend actually makes fun of him for being a “in your feelings” kind of guy. What does that even mean, and how does the pressure to not be a “in your feelings” kind of guy, affect men and their actions? Welp, see the last scene for that answer. I mean, and not to get graphic, while Lawrence was sleeping with Tasha, it didn’t seem like he was jonsing for a good time. That was all aggression and anger, something he wasn’t able to express to others without being made fun of. I could be wrong though…
Can we talk about the build up to the last scene? Since the last few episodes have ended with some doozies, I anticipated one this episode, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt. The worst part is, I left the last episode excited for Issa to get her comeuppance — but I was completely devasted when it actually came. To get the mislead that he wanted to get back with Issa, just to see him do some trifling mess like that took me completely offguard. That wasn’t fair.
As for this season’s cliffhanger, Insecure has hooked me for next season. I’m excited to see what will happen with Issa and Lawrence. Will they get back together? I hope not. These are two people who do NOT need to be together… at least not right now. TBH, I’m not completely sure what to anticipate about Molly’s character. She seems to have agreed that she has issues that she needs to work on, and will plan on handling them. I’m sure she’ll have some bumps along the way, but I leave this episode wishing I was given a little more to anticipate on Molly’s storyline.
I’m usually not one to stick around for shows centered on something microcosmic, like a relationship, but I was here for it all. Insecure drew us in with hilarious characters who we loved, and made me fall for those same hilarious characters in heartbreaking and unfunny situations. I will be back next season, waiting for Insecure to pick up the pieces of my heart. Please.
Season 1, Episode 8 (S01E08)
Insecure airs Sundays at 1030PM on HBO
Writer based in LA. Just trying to write good stuff while deep conditioning my hair.
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Vanessa Jay | Contributor