MARY + JANE Review: “Rehab”


Mary and Jane

As MARY AND JANE opens, I’m already irked as the girls are stuck in traffic in a car without air conditioning. This is definitely a been there, done that situation that I can finally relate to, but the next line about other people saying you’re lucky to live in LA is a complete fallacy. I’ve never heard anyone say that and I’ve lived in LA my entire life. Usually, I just get smug comments about crowds, smog, traffic and musings on whether or not In N Out is really that good.

So it turns out that Jordan and Paige are stuck in traffic because they are on their way to deliver drugs to a guy in rehab. Only the girls are super slow (too much weed? Or just dumb?) to figure it out. Once they see the pool and the spa menu that free-wheeling Jordan convinces the not-as-uptight-as-an-uptight-character could be, Paige, to stay a while and enjoy the luxurious surroundings, include masks, smoothies, a vaginal steam that was clearly not researched, a salad and most especially, the 15-hand massage that for unexplained reasons is announced with a gong.

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It turns out that you can’t just enjoy all the excessively relaxing surroundings, you also have to go to group therapy. This is probably where the mental health addiction field should rise up and revolt against the show. There are a lot of clichés, and I’m assuming inaccuracies, that are portrayed about addiction and how mental health issues work. For example, the client that they came to drop off drugs for is addicted to lying and although his scene is pretty humorous, it’s probably not the best representation of mental health.

As though we didn’t already know, Paige discovers that she is drawn to destructive people. Like Chris, the guy that thought she was a prostitute because she slept with him. I’d forgotten about Chris, but I do recall wondering why Paige would sleep with because he’s not all that attractive. It also turns out that he also doesn’t have the greatest personality—his addiction is chocolate, not something deep and dark like Paige had hoped. But it does make you wonder why a purportedly hip new show is still casting hot women as having serious doubts about themselves instead of having confidence. It’s just getting more and more unlikely and old-fashioned.

Jordan has a realization of her own, about hiding her feelings with weed, but it’s not until she realizes that she’s missed her 15 hand massage that she breaks down and cries. Admittedly, the therapist noting that having an addiction to weed is silly, because it’s “barely an illegal drug,” is one of the funnier, and more pertinent moments that the series has had so far.

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Breakthroughs aside, the time eventually comes to pay the bill and the girls only escape due to the irony of the lying guy finally telling the truth and security guards not believing him, allowing the ladies to escape through the bushes.

Back at home, Jordan is once again smoking weed while Paige plays with her phone. Apparently, she’s addicted to her cell phone, although it’s not a trait that has really been noted before.

Next week it looks as though the have completely run out of ideas as the girls are doing what every sitcom has done since I Love Lucy—getting in over their heads with too much product and no way to get rid of it. Luckily, money is no object for the ladies of TV, that’s a timeless tradition sitcom too.


Season 1, Episode 5 (S01E05)
Mary + Jane airs Monday at 10PM on MTV

Read all of our reviews of Mary + Jane here. 
Read our reviews of more of your favorite shows here.

Carly is a freelance writer that watches too much TV while she writes blogs and articles about lifestyle including , food, fashion, beauty, home decor, entertainment, health, fitness and wellness and green living.
Follow Carly on Twitter: @CarlyZzee
Keep up with all of Carly’s reviews here.

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