Oh that wacky Jordan. The irresponsible half of MARY + JANE has once again screwed the pooch on something really important. Getting to the desert for Coachella, all the way from LA. After screwing up the tickets, because you always put the irresponsible flake in charge of making plans and buying concert tickets, Paige and Jordan are on the outs. Both are stranded in LA, which isn’t as deserted as the pair would have you believe and both are angry enough at each other to seek new friends. Which is kind of interesting because when they’re together, they’re also with other friends. But that is the kind of detailed logic that goes into the sitcom.
So apparently Paige isn’t totally into providing drugs of questionable legality and has always wanted a job that she could tell her mom about—like being a stylist or fashion writer. Even though her sense of style seems to come from buying complete ensembles from the mannequins at Urban. Paige can’t even find an Uber-style ride to Coachella so she just happens to meet up with three gorgeous ladies that happen to run their own fashion magazine and be looking for a writer.
Paige instantly bonds with the editors of “Bunchee,” which is also a verb, similar to “fetch.” Like fetch, it probably won’t catch on because it’s not as cool. According to her new friends/bosses, Coachella is lame and they’re in town for Noachella, the much cooler version where a stadium performer will hold a secret concert. The ladies wander in and out of their fully staffed offices for “dranks” at any of time of day and Paige just goes along without wondering how people her age can afford to fully staff a magazine she’s never heard of or read and how they can afford that many dranks in a day. Don’t want to say that Paige is having a moment of a certain hair color, but the girl really doesn’t catch on too quickly. So she’s shocked when she eventually finds out that the girls aren’t at all entrepreneurial but instead funded by parents with too much money.
Also, it’s been a while but apparently the apartment dog is back to making bizarre comments that get written across the screen. For her part, Jordan is also upset with Paige’s revelation that she’d rather be at Coachella and have a job that isn’t borderline illegal. While she is wandering the streets, she comes across a tough chick that is super smart but super cranky. And very much into selling drugs as the next big thing. She also has a tendency towards violence as she returns from a deal with blood on her face that isn’t hers, along with money and tickets for a super secret concert.
Yep, that’s right, the same exclusive concert that Paige is also headed to. So Jordan and Paige are now unhappy with their new business partners but are so psychically connected that they’ve managed to show up at a huge venue and immediately spot each other. Before being dragged away by their new respective besties. For some reason, Paige feels that the best way to break free of the people to which she owes nothing is to babble at them about the importance and satisfaction of hard work even as they plan a trip to Ibizia. Paige doesn’t understand that when people invite you to go to Europe, you go, you don’t go on stage to make a phone call to your mother and confuse the poor woman about your drug dealing ways and coming out of the green closet. It’s so confusing that even a zombie in the audience thinks that she’s up on stage for an actual purpose, like taking her top off. It’s disappointing for all but not really surprising for the show.
The ladies makeup and then there’s a cute flash forward 40 years in the future where they’re doing a When Harry Met Sally style talk in front of the camera about heroin becoming legalized and don’t do heroin—it turns out that weed really is a slippery slope. And the only remotely funny or charming scene of the episode. Because once again, the show has failed to promote weed in a positive way and represents female friendships superficial and annoying.
Season 1, Episode 7 (S01E07)
Mary +Jane airs Mondays at 10PM on MTV
Carly is a freelance writer that watches too much TV while she writes blogs and articles about lifestyle including travel, food, fashion, beauty, home decor, entertainment, health, fitness and wellness and green living.
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Carly Zinderman | Contributor