As SCREAM QUEENS returns, FBI Agent Denise is still lying on the floor after her tragic encounter with the Green Meanie and seems to be dead for all intents and purposes. Meanwhile, Little Miss Sunshine Chanel is bleeding out beside her and still cognizant enough to ask for help but everyone is too preoccupied with the fact that a trained FBI agent has fallen victim to the Green Meanie to care. Once again, Dean Munch has more than Denise’s demise on her mind. She says she wants to toss her body into the swamp to avoid questions but actually wants to use her as part of an elaborate cryogenic experiment to find a cure for her own incurable disease–because Denise isn’t quite dead, just brain dead. There are other issues to overcome as well—like the fact that all the other patients from the Halloween party have since been sliced and diced by the Green Meanie while everyone fussed over disease. But as the dean discovers, there’s no such thing as bad press and soon the hospital is filled with people with unusual diseases, hoping for a cure and willing to risk a serial killer to get it. There’s a lot of clever dialogue and twists taken in this early scene, but the twists are so random and unexpected that they are impossible to see coming and thus just as frustrating as they are clever.
Because Halloween is over, it would be weird for Chanel to still be tinged blue so there’s a solution that Dr. Brock has put together so that she can pee out all the silver and resume being a crazy bitch in her usual pale hue. Dr. Brock manages to hit on Chanel even while over sharing his sexual interactions with Dean Munch and they have a new patient of the week to take care of. A lady that works for the United Nations recently had a mild concussion and now speaks in a different accent each time that she opens her mouth, but apparently can’t tell that she’s doing it. The actress is really good at switching between a variety of international accents—and it’s even funnier when she gets agitated. Admittedly, it’s also funny when the accents prove to be somewhat contagious and the rest of the cast is less than talented at accents, something that they bring up. They also refer to it as Madonna syndrome, although Lindsay Lohan is the most recent American celebrity to develop an unusual accent, probably due to when the show was written.
Scream Queens might take pride in clever dialogue, but it’s also very proud of finding new ways to gross out viewers. As we finally see the Chanels at work, it is using a dish brush to clean bedpans and Kirstie Alley’s evil nurse character adds to their pile, having them clean catheter tubes and sort fecal transplants, pointing out that while she may be a pillhead, she’s right in that they’re not technically qualified to do anything medical. After some tiresome remarks about vag steaming, Chanel comes up with a plan to get recruits that are less attractive to do their grunt work, including cleaning things up and playing decoy for the Green Meanie. If there are more Chanels to kill, then they can stay safe for a while.
Meanwhile, Zayday is busy investigating the original hospital Halloween massacre because the recent one has already been forgotten and discovers that Chamberlain, my favorite candy striper and all around goofball isn’t actually a candy striper or volunteer. Zayday has decided that he’s the baby born on the Halloween massacre night and that he has an evil plot to kill everyone. When she confronts Chamberlain, it turns out that he just really likes being nice and helping people and that it’s not weird and creepy to do that in a hospital setting, but it is out on the street. Little Miss Sunshine is all taped up after her life-threatening injuries but is helping Zayday’s investigation, which includes a very fun scene regarding Hester scented panties and may be the one time that I’ve cracked a smile while watching the show. Zayday and Little Miss Sunshine Chanel track down the pregnant mother and find out that her husband appears to be a black man, so Zayday hasn’t ruled out Chamberlain as a suspect for the Green Meanie after all. We’ll learn at the very end of the episode that Dr. Cassidy is actually the baby that Zayday is after and it’s a pretty big deal coming midway into the season. Maybe the black guy is a second husband because the man dying on the table in the flashbacks seemed pretty white.
Hester is back in the picture because Chanel recruited a bunch of people to be replacement Chanels or “pledges” and didn’t ask Hester so the twisted sister is a little miffed and finds a new way to worm her way into the house. Hester seems to be on the loose as without Agent Denise, there’s no one to put her back behind bars and so she is living with the other Chanels. One of Chanel’s recruits turns out to be a fan of their criminal history and is actually a male—hence the title of the episode—Chanel Pour Homme. He ends up with his guts on the outside of his body, courtesy of the Green Meanie by the end of the episode. It’s pretty gruesome and graphic and not entirely unexpected considering he was recruited as a decoy. And of course it delights Hester, who is getting really good at the evil grins—almost as good as Taylor Lautner.
There’s a showdown between Dean Munch and Nurse Hoffel that is pretty awesome because Munch is unable to fire Hoffel because Hoffel knows that Munch is dying and it’s just really cool to finally see the two veteran actresses going toe to toe.
All in all, the episode managed to create reveals that were fun and almost make sense as well as bringing a refreshing dose of actual humor, making it more playful than most of the episodes, which rely too heavily on dark sarcasm for giggles.
Season #2, Episode 5 (S02E05)
Scream Queens airs Tuesdays at 9PM on FOX
Carly is a freelance writer that watches too much TV while she writes blogs and articles about lifestyle including travel, food, fashion, beauty, home decor, entertainment, health, fitness and wellness and green living.
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Carly Zinderman | Contributor