SCREAM QUEENS closed out the season by starting with an action scene featuring Green Meanie Nurse Hoeffel shooting baseballs at Chanels. The cartoonish attempt to kill seemed sillier and less effective than usual, especially given how long and boring the scene ended up being. While a passerby managed to get beamed on the head, Chanel escaped by simply opening one of the many doors in the hallway that the balls were going through. And Earmuffs Chanel managed to escape her boyfriend’s machete because he resolved to stand up to his mom. Also, he figures he’ll just his mom instead because clearly, she’s the problem and the solution is to remove her. Cassidy also tells Nurse Hoeffel that he’s done with the whole Green Meanie thing, which means she needs to kill him too. The best part of the whole scene, and the episode, is Nurse Hoeffel’s conclusion that the Chanels have some sort of narcissism and stupidity combination that create a force field around them and render them impossible to kill. It’s definitely true and as a viewer, I’m as annoyed at the Chanels as the psycho killer, which isn’t really where a viewer should be because usually in slasher films you root for the victims.
On the love front, things are not going well for Chanel. Although she has decided that Dr. Brock’s attempt to strangle her is a sign of open communication in their relationship, because most couples don’t do that and just bottle up their feelings, Dr. Brock has grown so annoyed with Chanel that he agrees to Hester’s plan to marry Munsch for her money so that when the Dean inevitably dies they can run away together. It’s a super elaborate plan that hinges on the Dean’s death but the random hand lick is what really sways Brock to agree. Needless to say, the news of Brock’s engagement to Dean Munsch doesn’t sit well with Chanel, who was hoping for a cheap engagement ring of her own. Brock points out that she’s more into a social media boyfriend than having sex or a real world relationship and says that he’ll marry her after Munsch is dead.
Apparently, there is still one new Chanel recruit left, the one with the face that doesn’t move. She’s into gardening and gives Nurse Hoeffel the idea for her crazy endgame scheme when she says that the swamp’s natural fertilizer is super flammable. Cartoon hijinks, complete with villainous monologs ensue….
Meanwhile after Cassidy breaks it to his mom that he loves Chanel Earmuffs and doesn’t want to kill her anymore because he’s a healer, not a killer, the mom doesn’t take it well and denies having a son before calling Hoeffel and offering to team up with her and Chanel is a Jezebel and a bunch of other nonsense that does nothing to further the plot or create feelings one way or another in the viewer. This leads the mom to have a heart to heart with Zayday, whereby she discovers that the hospital is now a place of caring and curing and decides to stop her plot for revenge after all.
Meanwhile, as Munsch prepares for the wedding, officiated by an actor meant to look like Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy, Little Miss Sunshine Chanel is thinking that Munsch doesn’t have a deadly brain disease after all. Her ability to pass the MCATs without cheating has made her realize she’s not dumb and wants Munsch to get a brain biopsy to confirm her suspicions. Brock performs the procedure even as Chanel prepares to kill Munsch with a hot pumpkin spice latte slip and Hester tells him to botch the procedure. Brock’s pride won’t let him mangle the operation to kill the dean and Chanel’s throw doesn’t work so the Dean lives and it is determined that she is severely dehydrated after years of avoiding water in favor of alcohol. So Munsch lives to see the chaos that ensues for the end of the season wrap up.
Nurse Hoeffel has unplugged the cryo machine containing FBI Agent Denise Hemphill in order to drain the swamp and create a bomb. Hoeffel then lures the entire cast into a cage set with apple cider and Styrofoam cheese, before revealing that her real name is Bean, not Hoeffel. Nobody remembers the maid from the first season, including Chanel and the audience, so it’s helpful that we get a visual and also that we’ve known for a while what Hoeffel’s motive was. Zayday meanwhile shows up with Mama Cassidy to save the day but it’s actually FBI Agent Denise Hemphill that saves the day because she’s watched enough TV to know how to stop a ticking bomb and has been healing in the cryo chamber since Munsch put her in there earlier in the season after her encounter with a Green Meanie. There’s an elaborate chase scene, lots of monologs and then Nurse Hoeffel eventually gets her comeuppance when she suffocates in quicksand for her own cartoonish death.
After that, Chanel gives a lispy wrap-up as Little Miss Sunshine and Zayday continue to practice medicine at the hospital and all the other characters are present and accounted for, including Season 1’s Red Devil killer, who shows up in the backseat of Chanel’s car before the show fades out. Hopefully, this doesn’t indicate that there is to be yet another season of exaggerated camp humor and excessive pink but just a cute way to say goodbye to the Scream Queens. Because the Scream Queens are always cute, no matter who wants to kill them.
Season 2, Episode 10 (S02E10)
Scream Queens airs Tuesdays at 9PM on Fox
Carly is a freelance writer that watches too much TV while she writes blogs and articles about lifestyle including travel, food, fashion, beauty, home decor, entertainment, health, fitness and wellness and green living.
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Carly Zinderman | Contributor