Now that the viewer knows that there are three Green Meanies in play, things should be getting interesting for SCREAM QUEENS. Instead, things have gotten a little boring because there is no longer any mystery, just a reveal to look forward to when the Chanels and the hospital staff catch on to the killers. At first, it looks like the Green Meanie is getting creative by creating a plant goo and sorority girl effigy but the episode kind of goes downhill from there, with only occasional moments of interest. Like when the three meanies each pick a Chanel to chase through the hospital in circles. It’s cute when one meanie gets another meanie to back off earmuffs Chanel, but also kind of lame because we all know whom the meanies are. Still watching the scene is fun, even if it is a little too long to be actually funny.
A guest star is always a fun surprise and this one is courtesy of Brooke Shields, a real TV doctor and everything the Chanels have ever wanted to be. She’s the host of Lovin the D, which stands for doctor, just in case you were confused. And of course, there’s a monolog to explain how silly that abbreviation is. The Chanels are desperate to follow in Brooke Shield’s footsteps and be TV doctors, not real doctors, but they need to have passed the MCAT’s in order to appear on the show and perform live surgery as Shields has demanded. Live surgery is apparently good for ratings as all the TV doctors have to one-up one another. So the Chanels find a way to cheat on the MCATs and pass although Little Miss Sunshine Chanel is left out of the plan and actually passes the test on her own, whining all the while about how no one cares that she’s a genius. Unfortunately, too true. If all the Chanels were gotten by the Green Meanies, it would be a welcome relief to know that there’s no possibility of another season to sit through some of the most annoying vocal tics in television history.
In the meanwhile, Hester takes it upon herself to run a Green Meanie summit, which reminds us that Wes is actually her dad too—something we found out in the first season and which Wes continues to not be proud of. There’s a rundown of which Meanie killed which victim and we find out that Wes has been around for a while—he actually killed Chad Radwell. I liked Chad’s character but the reveal comes a little late after the fact to actually care about his killer at this point because so many people, both important and not important are dead or mostly dead that it doesn’t seem to impact anything at all. In fact, it seems like a bit of time waste despite the comedic aspect of wanting credit for doing horrible things.
Nurse Hoffel is busy plotting her final revenge on Chanel—the real one, whom she still ultimately blames for her sister’s death but things aren’t going well for her on the revenge front so she ends up using it to kill Wes at the end of the episode. It’s pretty anti-climatic as we only just met up with Wes after a season apart and his thing about taking out the Chanels for making his daughter crazy is pretty weak. So his death is too. As is having two meanies team up against the other one and the twist being a double cross so that Wes dies, despite his allegiance with Cassidy.
Another weak and unnecessary part of the storyline is finding out that Brock finds Chanel so annoying that he tries to strangle her, even though he no longer has a serial killer hand to blame it on. It’s as though he’s figured out what everyone else already knows about Chanel’s weak character and the revelation isn’t that revealing. It’s also not revealing when Hester tells him that maybe he’s a killer and a healer and the hand has nothing to do with it.
Things wrap up with Zayday still being held captive in a very deep and strange pit that Cassidy’s mom has under her bed. She also tells Cassidy that no matter what he has to kill Chanel earmuffs, despite his bringing her home. And Chanel has managed to escape death once again because all the archaic poisons that he put in her coffee were ingested by Brooke Shields in one of those famous TV style cup switcheroos. Dean Munsch reveals her diagnosis and pretty much nothing new is revealed to the viewer, making for more of a wrap-up than an episode. It doesn’t build a whole lot of anticipation for next week’s Season Finale, just a sense of relief that the tediousness of watching an inexplicable amount of ostrich feathers flipping around will finally be over.
Season 2, Episode 9 (S02E09)
Scream Queens airs Tuesdays at 9PM on Fox
Carly is a freelance writer that watches too much TV while she writes blogs and articles about lifestyle including travel, food, fashion, beauty, home decor, entertainment, health, fitness and wellness and green living.
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Carly Zinderman | Contributor