{TB Talks TV} Under The Dome: “Alaska”

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under-the-domeTweetable Takeaway: A CBS promo spoils the surprise ahead of another mediocre #UndertheDome.  

Airtime:Thursday 9 PM CBS

By: , Contributor

Alright before we talk about last night’s episode, the fifth in the third season titled “Alaska,” we need to talk about the little “this season on ” promo CBS ran immediately after the episode instead of a “Next week on…” because it sums up everything that is wrong with this show, how it is being written, and how it is being marketed.

First of all, the promo reveals one of the biggest twists–if not the biggest twist–in the show’s run. In a promo. That’s right, a PROMO. If you don’t want to know, do not read on. SPOILERS AHEAD (which is what CBS should have said).

In the promo we see meteors falling from the sky outside the Dome, erupting in explosions and fire. We see people, civilians, banging on the outside of the Dome wanting to come in! And we hear somebody say, “We’re the last humans on Earth,” which is followed up by Julia: “The Dome is here to protect us.”

UNDER THE DOME: Deputy Linda (Natalie Martinez, left) and her fiancé, Rusty (Josh Carter), find themselves separated by a massive transparent dome that’s suddenly fallen on the town of Chester’s Mill, on UDER THE DOME premiering Monday, June 24 (10:00-11:00 PM, ET/PT) on CBS.  UNDER THE DOME is based on Stephen King’s bestselling novel.. Photo: Best Possible Screen Grab/©2013 CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved.

REALLY, CBS?!

You just flippantly confirm one of the biggest fan theories from the beginning of the series in a half-assed afterthought of a promo?! Why? Why rob the loyal viewers (who those people are and what their lives are like, I do not want to think about, but I digress) of discovering this crucial plot twist and answer to the ONE question that is the conceit of the entire show.

Yes, with that answer comes more questions. Why is Chester’s Mill being protected, who is protecting them and are they good or sinister. But in a show that has so many “meh” moments and twists that are completely irrelevant or nonsensical, why rob the viewers of an actual good, important one? Say “answers will be revealed” in your promo. DON’T GIVE US THE ANSWER.

So that’s my main gripe–but there was something else that bothered me about the promo that ties in with how poorly the show is written overall. In a shot where we see a meteor falling from the sky and crashing into the ground, we hear Big Jim yell, “It looks like a meteor!”

Do you see how stupid CBS and Under the Dome treat their fans? OF COURSE IT’S A METEOR. I CAN SEE THAT IT’S A METEOR. I HAVE EYES. THAT’S WHY I’M WATCHING TV.

There is so much of this overtly exposition-y dialogue throughout the show where a character literally describes what he or she is seeing that the audience is simultaneously seeing on screen. Or one character tells another character aloud information that both characters already know and don’t need to speak to each other, like “We’ve been under this dome for three weeks!” YEAH, I THINK THE OTHER PERSON WHO HAS BEEN UNDER THIS DOME FOR THREE WEEKS WOULD HAVE NOTICED THAT.

But let’s talk about “Alaska,” yet another mediocre episode. In it, we see more of the same. Christine is manipulative, going so far as to get Sam’s new girlfriend Abby–who we don’t much care about as she was just introduced last episode–to commit suicide. Barbie is running around trying to be the hero while getting too close to carpenter Pete for Christine’s liking, so they are both easily manipulated into hating each other. Norrie and Joe are in hot water after the townspeople, completely beyond reason if you know the characters, start to believe that the couple purposefully injured Hunter (who just came into the Dome like, what, two days ago now?) by pushing him off the roof. Big Jim and Julia found out some information about Aktaion Energy and how they first encountered an Egg in Alaska, which infected the scientists studying it. Big Jim remains Aktaion’s prisoner and is set to be their “control” in an experiment. He’s got the dog, which he recently spent an entire episode screaming at, with him.

The dog is the only character I’m actually rooting for. I just hope CBS’s next promo doesn’t show him exploding right before somebody shouts “The dog just blew up!”

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Paul co-created and writes for SHOWoff, a game that lets players predict what happens next on their favorite TV shows, earn points for what they get right, and see where they stack up against friends and the world (free in the iOS App store).  Check out the SHOWoff app at playSHOWoff.com
Twitter: @paulgulyas
Tumblr: paulgulyas.tumblr.com

Keep up with all of Paul’s Under The Dome reviews here.
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