{TB Talks TV} Under The Dome: “Love Is a Battlefield”

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under-the-domeTweetable Takeaway: Though it seemed impossible, Under The Dome has outdone itself with the most ridiculous scene on television.

Airtime:
Thursday 9 PM CBS

By: , Contributor

The most ridiculous, most offensive, most outlandish moment on television happened on this week’s episode of , and that’s saying a lot considering Donald Trump can be found on basically any network at every time of day. But, alas, I have to say the loudest I yelled “Oh, COME ONNNNN” at my TV this week was not at the leading Republican candidate. Here’s what happened.

Eva, pregnant with Barbie’s child, unwillingly left the comforts of the pile of hay in the barn next to the ditch of dead women and was put in a motel room by Barbie and Julia. Barbie is recently turned back to the good guys’ side, and thinks there might be a way to save Eva and his baby, who everyone keeps referring to as “The Queen.”

So Eva is laying on her back on a motel bed, stomach looking like it’s about to burst (she just got pregnant like two nights ago by the way). She’s going into labor but doesn’t want to deliver the baby directly into the enemy’s hands. But Barbie and Julia both REALLY want her to deliver the baby.

And that’s when it happens. The worst TV birth scene ever.

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“PUSH!” Julia yells. “NO!” screams back Eva. But Julia, a real go-getter, won’t take no for an answer. If Eva won’t push herself, by golly, Julia will push for her! And she lays her arm across Eva’s sternum, between her boobs and her baby bump, and proceeds to PUSH THE BABY OUT OF EVA. Like she’s squeezing out the last bit of toothpaste from a bottle. She is trying to physically force the tiny human being out of Eva’s mommy parts WITH HER ARM.

And guess what? SHE SUCCEEDS. And it takes, oh, I dunno, under 15 seconds. Long, painful birthing process? JUST HAVE THE DOCTOR SQUEEZE THE BABY OUT WITH HIS OR HER ARM! IT WORKS!

This is just a totally affront to all sensibilities. This is like something you would see in a Naked Gun movie. This beyond the leaps of logic and believability that the writers can explain by saying “Well because Dome.” This is just straight out terrible.

I will force myself now to write more about the content of the episode but you all know what I am really thinking about.

Joe continued this week to construct the device that will ultimately break the Dome and set the Chester’s Mill-ians free, but whether that’s a good thing or not, we don’t know. The Kinship and its odd groupthink could pose a threat to the outside world. But then why have the Dome in the first place? At least we were treated to a strangely out of place scene of Joe lip-syncing to “Love Is a Battlefield” by Pat Bennetar, which as far as I’m concerned is welcome in any show I’m watching.

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Junior was captured by The Resistance and the Aktaion scientists used him as a guinea pig for their “cure” to whatever has gotten into the rest of the town. Remember when Big Jim tried to hunt and kill his son at the end of last season/beginning of this one? Now he’s head over heels for the kid, and believes, hook, line, and sinker, when Junior tells him he’s been magically cured. Big Jim the cynical skeptic buying this was a little out of character, but let’s chalk it up to him being paternalistic and hopeful… for the son he tried to murder a few days ago.

Anyway, as soon as Junior convinces Big Jim to untie his restraints, you know he shouldn’t have done that. You know because Junior looks up at him and says, “You shouldn’t have done that.” Then with superhuman strength throws his father across the room.

Number One, if you really want to get the jump on somebody after tricking them to untie you, are you really going to give them the heads up by saying “You shouldn’t have done that?” Even if you’re fairly certain you can beat your foe, why chance it? We then see Junior escape with some superhuman speed. This is the first we’ve seen of the odd superhuman strength and speed, so either it needs to be explained or the writers will just let this lapse in logical physics fall by the wayside with all the others.

In the final scene, Christine comes to Eva’s hotel where she is nursing her new alien/queen baby. Christine then sings a lullaby (why! why! why!) and smothers Eva to death with a pillow. What a turn!

On the positive side, we’re only two episodes away from the end!

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Paul co-created and writes for SHOWoff, a game that lets players predict what happens next on their favorite TV shows, earn points for what they get right, and see where they stack up against friends and the world (free in the iOS App store).  Check out the SHOWoff app at playSHOWoff.com
Twitter: @paulgulyas
Tumblr: paulgulyas.tumblr.com

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