THE FAMILY Review: “Fun Ways To Tell Boyfriend You’re Pregnant”

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Airtime: Sundays at 9PM on ABC
Episode: Season 1, Episode 10 (S01E10)

TB-TV-Grade-B

Tweetable Takeaway: #TheFamily tries to make us feel bad for Jane. It doesn’t work.  


, you’ve done it again. This episode was middling, with some unsuccessful attempts to get us to care about characters who are pretty much unredeemable, but it ended with a twist that guarantees I’ll tune in next week. Doug walks into the police station and gives himself up. Of course, Doug is pure evil, so I’m sure he has some sort of master plan, like using Agent Clements’ life as a bargaining chip or blaming his wife, but we’ll have to wait and see.

This episode tries to get us to feel sorry for Jane, Doug’s wife who attacked Agent Clements and is keeping locked up in a basement. After all, she’s pregnant, used to be a Girl Scout, apologizes constantly, and tells Doug to burn in hell. However, it’s pretty hard to ignore the fact that she knew Doug was keeping boys locked up for twelve years. She can tell Doug to burn in hell all she wants. Until she calls the police, I can’t care about this character. She goes into labor, but Doug isn’t home. Agent Clements talks her through it, but Jane can’t unlock him. Doug took the keys.

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Poor Agent Clements. Detective Meyer is on the case, but the FBI isn’t so sure he’s missing after all. Apparently Agent Clements is an alcoholic, and they found his car smashed in the woods with a bottle of liquor in the front seat. Detective Meyer actually proves to be fairly decent at her this week, getting a search warrant for Doug’s house and running a forensic analysis on the shed, but as always, Doug is one step ahead of her. He has two houses, and is currently living in a cabin in the woods.

Last week’s episode ended with the cliffhanger reveal that Ben hurt Adam. You think this would be addressed early in the episode, but no. Willa doesn’t ask Ben if he hurt Adam until the last five minutes. Ben says yes. All Adam talked about was his family, and Ben was jealous. Apparently that’s a satisfactory enough answer for Willa, as she asks no follow-up questions.

Bridey is still sniffing around, trying to connect the dots between the faked DNA test and Willa. Turns out Willa went to college with the son of the founder of the unimaginatively named Biotech Genetics. Willa promised them the sex offender microchipping contract as well as all other law enforcement contracts for the entire time Claire is governor. Willa stupidly brought her computer over to Bridey’s while drunk, so Bridey copies the laptop’s entire contents onto a flash drive.

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Speaking of Claire’s election, the show just brushes past this plot point. We get a throwaway line about how she’s a shoo-in, and that’s it. Claire threatens to use her power to demote Detective Meyer to a crossing guard when she’s elected, as Detective Meyer straight up calls her out on the fact that “Adam” isn’t Adam. Claire, why don’t you just get her thrown off the case now? You’re the mayor, and the entire town knows that she was sleeping with your husband!

Ben meets Doug in the park. He gives him information on how much the FBI knows. Is Doug blackmailing him? This is a far cry from the kid who convincingly told the police that he wants his kidnapper dead. Also, at this point the entire police force and the FBI are searching for Doug. Why isn’t anyone following Ben?

There’s only two more episodes left of , with no word from ABC on a second season. I’m still cautiously excited to see how this mess all ends, but I’m trying not to get my hopes up too much.

TB-TV-Grade-B

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lives for two things: spreading the “Superstore” gospel and themed “Law & Order: SVU” marathons on USA. When she’s not binge-watching her favorite shows, she’s reading any book she can get her hands on.

: @jtrof

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