THE MICK Review: “The Master”


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THE MICK opens with date night as Jimmy is busy making loud noises as he tastes wine at a fancy restaurant. Apparently, Jimmy is back so maybe this means that the episodes are finally syncing up without constantly explaining that tax evasion has meant fleeing the country. Clearly, Jimmy is out of his element, although Mickey looks perfectly at ease in a fancy dress. It turns out that Jimmy isn’t at ease at all and only found the place by accident when he got into a penis war with another driver and followed him into the parking lot. The story involves some light racial slurs and sexist comments that would probably usually pass as shocking and funny but in the current political climate, they’re a little flat. Meanwhile, Mickey is so happy with her plate that she wants to Instagram her beautiful spaghetti, which is douchey but she takes out her ancient flip phone and Jimmy purposely ruins the moment, mostly Mickey’s dress. Jimmy ends up completely ruining their date by choking on Mickey’s spaghetti but is rescued from dying when a hot guy shows up to punch him in the stomach and save his life. The scene is too ridiculous to be funny—but it is one of the more creative meet-cute scenarios on TV—Mickey ends up dating Jimmy’s rescuer.


Back at home the next morning, Mickey tells the kids about the new guy, who has invited her on his boat. They recognize his name and explain that he’s old money and way out her league—he doesn’t have a boat, but a 90-foot yacht. It also turns out that Alba really doesn’t like Jimmy and she’s rooting for the new romance. In the midst of everything, Chip gets a call from his parents on his cell. It’s all scrambled and clearly a “butt dial” but Chip reads into that his parents are trying to tell them where they are. It leads to the little dumb one being led out of the room as he tries to figure out to make calls with your butt. Alba sets him up to watch an iPad loaded with inappropriate movies, beginning with a Clockwork Orange. Knowing that the parents aren’t coming home anytime soon, big sister Sabrina calls dibs on The Master, which Chip thinks should be kept sacred for the return of his parents but Mickey also expresses interest in. But first, she has a date on a boat.

So the date on the boat seems to be going well as Richie Rich (I forget the character’s name) shows Mickey around and she decides to get all seductive. But she also gets seasick. He hands her a bottle of what looks like soapy water in a NyQuil bottle but is apparently some sort of powerful seasickness medicine. I’ve only ever seen seasickness medication in pill form, so it’s kind of lost on me what it could be (also, safety note, this guy is cool but it doesn’t generally seem like a good idea to drink strange beverages while on a boat all alone with a stranger). Anyway, because she’s Mickey she downs the bottle, even though the guy explains it’s probably way more than she needed. While seasickness medication usually makes you drowsy and you’d think that Mickey would just end up asleep, it seems to make her drunk. And drinking a beer probably doesn’t help (Mr. Fancy Pants drinks wine because he’s fancy and she’s low-class—because we really need to drive home the stereotypes of rich and poor). Mickey is acting increasingly drunk as Richie Rich expresses concerns and offers her water and she babbles more and more. Eventually, she stumbles around so much that she completely falls off the yacht, marking my first laugh out loud moment of the show.

Figuring she blew it with the rich guy, Mickey and Alba scheme to get him back via a crazy made up butt dial conversation that involves Alba describing Mickey’s lady parts in great detail and likening them to a turkey, a majestic creature. I understand that the scene is meant to be over the top crazy ridiculous but it’s also just not clever, which is the really offensive part—not Alba excusing herself with an “in my country” lame explanation. The redo date goes so well that Mickey invites him to her new master bedroom. What she seems to have forgotten is that her niece and nephew are busy physically fighting it out over the room, which includes lots of jewelry that the Feds didn’t confiscate. In fact, the Feds didn’t take anything as far as believability goes and the kids still seem to be in private schools and have all their expensive stuff in their expensive home and I’m assuming that Alba is still somehow being paid and has money for food to cook for the family or else why would she stick around.

So Chip and Sabrina are busy fighting it out and breaking and throwing stuff in the master bedroom while the youngest kid is growing more and more desensitized to horror films. The furniture in that high-class bedroom seems to be really cheap because everything breaks with the smallest bump and even skinny Sabrina manages to break glass when Chip tosses her through a window. (It’s funny, I swear). When Mickey and her man wander in, they are just in time for the guy to get a high-heel in the eye as the battle wages on. That does bring it to a stop as everyone is too freaked out to react. So the little kid wanders by, pulls out the shoe, like no big deal as blood spurts everywhere. Mickey is still trying to hit on him as the ambulance whisks him away amidst his cries of pain and that seems to be the end of that.

While the kids were fighting, Chip got another voicemail and it’s another but dial, this time involving sexual noises and an argument. Convinced that his sister is right and that the parents don’t care and aren’t coming back, he turns his cell over to the that are lurking outside the house. Because like Jimmy, they have made an unexplained reappearance. It’s the same cops that have been watching the house, but I’ve forgotten about them because they have only been spotted a few times. It’s kind of like the kids in a sitcom—they’re only around sometimes, when it’s convenient, and so you kind of forget that the parents even have kids. Back in the day, they used to phase kids out without explanation, so I’m wondering if Jimmy is going to suffer a similar fate eventually? Or just the cops or or whatever they are? Speaking of Jimmy, he’s back at the end of the episode to watch Aliens with Mickey and the little kid on the iPad. That giant house really needs a screening room, a small iPad is a ridiculous device to watch movies on that sized home, especially with multiple viewers.

Now that Chip has turned over his phone, he finally gets the call he’s been waiting for and the cops get to hear it: dad misses him and loves him. It almost makes me curious to see what happens next.


Season 1, Episode 6 (S01E06)
The Mick airs Tuesdays at 830PM on Fox

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Carly is a freelance writer that watches too much TV while she writes blogs and articles about lifestyle including travel, food, fashion, beauty, home decor, entertainment, health, fitness and wellness and green living.
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