AMERICAN HOUSEWIFE Review: “Can’t Hide It Anymore”


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gives us pregnant Katie.  She’s not really pregnant.  She is faking it to get out of volunteering at school.  Yep.  Shaming someone about her lack of caring for the kids will make you fake a pregnancy.  While Katie has demonstrated that she has a lot of bite in previous episodes, she proves that she’s all bark in this one.  So donning a belly is worth it to her.

The town is ecstatic about the news.  Her faux friends throw a baby shower, and she is here for it, honey!  She tells them that she’s actually a surrogate for some military wife who lost her ovaries in a war.  Yes, she said this, and she proceeds to make an explosion sound over her own womb.  Of course, the nitwits buy it, and they praise her for being such a good person.

Anna-Kat has been trying to get her mom to “hate” her.  Taylor and Oliver give her crap about being the favorite.  Anna-Kat has grown to hate the special attention, so she writes on the wall and does other things to become equal with twiddle-dee and tweedle-dum.  All attempts fail.  So, she pulls the ultimate hail mary – she lifts up Katie’s shirt to reveal a fat suit in front of her faux friends.  Uh-oh!  The jig is up.

Katie scolds Anna-Kat.  Anna-Kat explains that she did everything she could think of to get her mom to “hate” her, but nothing worked.  Katie apologizes for putting her in an awkward position with her brother and sister.  Although she would be the favorite, not having the camaraderie of her siblings is worse.  So Katie agrees to love them all equally while mouthing, “still my favorite”.  She’s trying.  Don’t judge her.

anna-kat unveils

Amid all this, Oliver practices for his ballet recital.  He is dedicated to going to Princeton on a ballet scholarship.  What I don’t understand is why he can’t go on an academic scholarship.  He seems smart.  He knows all the baby movers and shakers, so why not that?  Since there’s no real answer for that, I’ll buy that he has to get in through ballet no matter what.

His recital?  Terrible, at best.  As a beginner, he dances with pre-schoolers.  Poor thang, as my grandma says.  He is lifting and turning and dancing alongside the Honey Boo-Boo’s peers.  But guess what?  He looks unashamed.  He is regal and proud as any peacock in the wild.  He struts his stuff and makes no apologies about it. Go ‘head, Oliver!

Katie looks at Oliver, and at first, laughs.  She and Greg share a sweet chuckle about their baby boy doing his thang with minions.  She even entertains the idea of having another bambino.  Greg is over-the-moon about it because he has implanted this idea into her head.  The socks, the smell, he says, are things they both miss.  While a nice thought, Katie reminds him that babies grow up to be kids who talk.  Emphasis on talk.  Will we see a real pregnant Katie any time soon?  I hope so.

Season 1, Episode 23 (S01E23)
American Housewife airs Tuesday at 830PM on ABC

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Jennifer spends her nights , her days securing insurance for shows, and her in-betweens blogging about the silliness and seriousness of life on her blog.
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